I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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