I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize