Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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