Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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