That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize