But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Someone signed my nipple.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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