Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
