I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
