I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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