I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize