So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
