He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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