I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize