..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
