roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
