he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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