we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize