I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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