I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize