I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
