The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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