im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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