Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
