We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When are your genitals available?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
