I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
