Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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