Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
