Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
