Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
