i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
