Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize