I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
