Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
