I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
