I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
