Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
