summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
