How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
