Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
