took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
