apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
