You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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