quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize