My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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