It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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