I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
