This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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