i just had sex bonerless
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize