butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
