Quick, to the slutcave!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
