Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
