i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
