Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Farmville is her only friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
