Just mADE A PArabola og urine
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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