Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and she was petting her beer can
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
