VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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