every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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