Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
