So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
