Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
