normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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