Why does Corona taste like a burp?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
